Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Michael Bay diarrhea
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
