you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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