Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
