I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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