so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
