Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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