I wish i was in the wii world.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
