we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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