The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
