once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
