He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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