Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
im holly from the hills drunk
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
