i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
