She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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