It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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