hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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