Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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