and she was petting her beer can
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize