Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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