Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
