my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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