He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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