Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
