So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
