the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
