dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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