This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Everything about him screamed your future.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
