Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
