Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
