oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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