glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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