I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
