I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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