She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
