umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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