he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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