I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Randomize
