He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Semen is not good for contacts.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
