all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
