I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
