i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
