U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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