What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
