Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We named our party play list daddy issues
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
