i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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