How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
