I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
