I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
