More tranny stories later!
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
