he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
